By Constance Garcia-Barrio
A grandmother was at wit’s end, recalls Dr. Michael Baime, founder and director of the Penn Program for Stress Management.
“She and the grandson she was raising got into a heated argument. She was about to punish him when she took a deep breath, settled into herself and realized how distressed he was. ‘You’re really upset, aren’t you?’ she said. The boy burst into tears and poured out his problem to his grandmother.”
Mindfulness meditation helped her find a moment of calm. “Mindfulness meditation creates relaxation and openness,” says Dr. Baime. “This settled, relaxed quality is helpful in dealing with children because they become more relaxed in response.”
Sees things more clearly
Kathy Foy, 57, gains insights into grandparenting when she meditates. “I took a mindfulness meditation workshop as training department manager at Visions for EQuality, Inc.” an organization that advocates for persons with development disabilities and their families, says Foy, who babysits her 3-year-old grandson on weekends. “When I meditate, I see things more clearly.”
Whether you’re a grandparent-caregiver (as are more than 21,000 Philadelphians, according to the AARP Foundation) or an occasional babysitter, mindfulness meditation can help create a more openhearted relationship with your grandchildren, Dr. Baime says. “Meditation isn’t magic, but when you slow down enough to be fully present with those you love, the magic happens by itself.”
Sitting in silence is at the heart of Penn’s mindfulness meditation classes. Participants meet weekly for two and a half hours for eight weeks. An instructor leads participants through simple techniques to achieve inner stillness. Participants receive books, audio CDs and recordings to guide home practice. An all-day silent retreat before the last class covers techniques already presented plus some new ones.
It’s not a religion
Mindfulness isn’t a religion, Dr. Baime emphasizes. “It teaches you to focus all of your attention on a simple event in the present moment, like the sensation of your breath. Regrets about the past and fears about the future create less distress when the mind relaxes in the present. Meditation trains you to relax into the stillness and peace of the present moment whenever you wish.”
For more information about the classes, you may call 215-615-2774 or visit www.pennhealth.com/stress/.
For a sneak preview, an open meditation sitting for beginners, the first Thursday of the month, includes an introduction and basic meditation instruction, from 6 to 7 p.m. in Penn’s Hillel House at 39th and Walnut Sts.
If a family situation leads you to raise your grandchildren, these tips from licensed Dr. Monica Campbell Thompson, a clinical psychologist on staff at The Consortium, Inc., which provides behavioral healthcare, may help:
- If you have friends who are raising their grandchildren, see if you can alternate babysitting. That way, you would each have free time.
- Seek further support through groups like Big Brothers/Big Sisters.
- Even when parents can’t provide fulltime care, maybe they can spend some time with the children to give you a break.
- Along the same lines, can they agree to help with the children’s financial support?
- Make time for activities you enjoy.
- Google “Grandparents raising grandchildren” for a wealth of information, including respite services to give grandparents a break.
Also check out the AARP Grandparent Information Center, 202-434-2296.
By Enid Rosenblatt
When older people face issues like the loss of loved ones or partners or social isolation and loneliness, they may struggle with depression or anxiety.
For LGBT seniors, the problem may be exacerbated.
LGBT is an umbrella term for people who identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, explains Judy Morrissey, director of behavioral health services at the Mazzoni Center, an LGBT organization, at 12th and Chestnut Sts., in Center City Philadelphia.
“Society doesn’t do as much to promote good mental health as it does physical health,” said Morrissey, who is a licensed clinical social worker.
Mazzoni Center is a safe, welcoming environment for LGBT seniors who need help with emotional issues, Morrissey said. “The reward for coming in and talking is tremendous.”
Unique concerns for elderly
It is a multi-service agency providing primary healthcare, case management services, emergency food assistance, HIV counseling and testing, mental health and substance abuse services for people of all ages.
LGBT seniors may need help in coming out or may be struggling with addiction or dependency on drugs or alcohol, Morrissey noted.
“People who haven’t reconciled their sexual orientation or gender identity sometimes use drugs or alcohol to help them cope,” she said.
For older LGBT people who came of age before the gay civil rights movement of the late 1960s, coming to terms with intimacy issues may be difficult, she explained. “They may have internalized that being gay is wrong.”
For example, a man in his 80s, who “had never revealed his sexual orientation,” said Morrissey. “He had thought his family would not understand and would ostracize him and if he came out, he couldn’t be himself at work.” He came to the Mazzoni Center because, she says, “he felt the time was finally right for exploring the issue.”
Another client, whose partner of more than 20 years was very ill, needed help in dealing with legal issues associated with hospitalization and wills.
“LGBT people don’t have the same rights as married couples,” Morrissey explained. At the same time, he was struggling with his own emotional issues in view of the impending death.
Other clients include people who have married, despite their sexual orientation. They come to the Mazzoni Center for help and support.
Recently, the Mazzoni Center received a grant from Philadelphia Corporation for Aging (PCA) to work with the Center for Advocacy and Rights and Interests of the Elderly (CARIE) in making the CARIE staff more aware of LGBT issues and services provided by the Mazzoni Center. As a result, CARIE is better able to make appropriate referrals for LGBT seniors who contact it.
Word gets around
The Mazzoni Center has also worked with the William Way Center, at 13th and Spruce Sts., which has two support groups for LGBT seniors, to make them aware of the Center’s services.
“Since we have partnered with PCA, we are seeing more LGBT older adults,” Morrissey said. “One learns about our services and tells others.”
While the Mazzoni Center’s primary healthcare services are open to all, its behavioral health services are available only for LGBT people. For information or to arrange an appointment, the Mazzoni Center intake coordinator may be reached at 215-563-0663, ext. 274.