By Elaine Welles
The lives of many grandparents (and some great grandparents) change dramatically and unexpectedly when they find themselves caring for children again, years after their own children have grown up.
In most cases, they did not ask to become primary caregivers again. Often, the parents are very ill, in prison, suffering with addiction issues or serving in the military. For whatever reason, grandparents are left to care for the children left behind.
The Kinship Institute of Turning Points for Children was established three years ago to support these multigenerational families. (Turning Points is the merger of Philadelphia Society for Services to Children and the Children’s Aid Society of Pennsylvania.)
Since the program began, Turning Points CEO Michael Vogel points out, the Kinship Institute — and its related Kids’n’Kin program — has serviced roughly 800 caregivers per year. Its resources are strong and growing, he adds, but its needs are extraordinary.
Partnering with other social service agencies, Kinship is trying to pool and build resources for more than 64,000 Philadelphia children (202,000 in Pennsylvania) who reside with a relative caregiver.
Without much planning or know-how, caregivers and grandparents often are left with questions regarding medical insurance, how to get children into school and how to be a parent all over again with an added challenge — helping children cope with the trauma of being separated from their parents. The unexpected changes in their lives are traumatic for the caregiver, as well as the children, so Kinship and Kids’n’Kin provide a family therapist, if necessary.
“Sometimes there are legal questions,” Vogel says, in which case “we provide an attorney to consult with the caregivers.”
Kinship Institute/Kids’n’Kin supports are free. The cost of services is raised through fundraising and some funds from the city’s Department of Human Services, which refers some families.
In addition to counseling and legal assistance, Kinship/Kids’n’Kin offer parenting lessons on “how to raise a child in today’s society,” says Vogel. Free trips are offered to Muncy Prison for visits to incarcerated parents.
“Since we won’t be in the family’s life forever — our services are for a five-month period — our goal is to give the family problem-solving skills for future problems,” Vogel says.
Support groups are provided for grandparent caregivers, so they can interact with others in similar circumstances. Support groups are also available for children.
Addressing common issues, some groups stress practical concerns, such as housing and utilities. Youth groups “encourage children to talk through issues with social workers and therapists,” says Vogel.
The Kinship Program evolved from a two-day conference at Temple University, at which 400 grandparents, caregivers and professionals gathered to discuss how resources could be pooled.
Now, says Vogel, the “vision” is to have representation not only regionally, but also statewide. Legislators and the state’s Department of Aging have been instrumental in pushing these proposals forward, within their jurisdictions. Bills have been introduced to “improve supports” for caregivers as well as for children in foster care.
Kinship Institute works closely with other providers and with legislators, and encourages caregivers to notify their local government representatives of their needs. The Institute mails out 5,000 newsletters three times a year, with updated information on relevant legislation and available resources.
Kinship Institute is planning a rally in Harrisburg next spring, designed to bring attention to the need for resources for those caring for young children. Vogel predicts that busloads “from all 67 counties” will be there.
For information, to receive the newsletter or participate in the rally, you may contact Karen Fisk, director of Kinship Institute, at 215-875-4977 or kfisk@pssckids.org.
By Constance Garcia-Barrio
You have the opportunity to improve the future of the new generation of your family by taking time to “hold grandchildren in your lap and read to them,” says Audrey Roll, head of the Children’s Department at Joseph E. Coleman Northwest Regional Library.
Because, in this economy, both parents may be working to make ends meet, it often falls to grandparents to read to children.
“You may have to unglue children from the computer screen,” said Roll, mother of two grown sons and a children’s librarian for 28 years, “but they can gain so much from books. Reading gives children an academic boost. It also stretches their attention spans. They learn to postpone pleasure — a critical life skill — because they have to wait until the end of the story for the payoff.”
Also, you build a child’s vocabulary. “Good readers inevitably know how to write,” Roll adds. “They understand the structure of beginning, middle and end. It’s excellent preparation for school. I do a story hour here every week for 3-to-5-year-olds. I can tell which ones have been read to. They can sit still and pay attention.”
Roll offers a rule of thumb for deciding the length of the book: “If you have a 2-year-old grandchild, get a book that lasts two minutes; for a 5-year-old, a five-minute book, and so on. Beginning books may have just one word per page. Choose brightly colored board books of a size the child can handle.”
Take children to the library so you can select books together, Roll advises. “That involvement engages children more. Consider a favorite book from your childhood or one that the child’s mother or father liked. The enjoyment in your voice will come through.”
Select books that tie in with children’s recent experiences, she suggests. “There are tons of books about animals” in the library, for example, that would be a good choice after a trip to the zoo.
Ham it up when you read. “Bark like the dog, chug like the little engine, whoosh like the wind,” Roll says. “Children like that.”
Roll suggests adding inducements, like taking children to the movie after you read the book.
“After my boys and I read The Gingerbread Man, we made gingerbread cookies,” she says.
As soon as they’re able, have children read to you, Roll suggests. “It allows you to spot difficulties. For example, some children stumble a little. You don’t have to make a big deal of it or require children to sound out the word — after all, you want a confident reader — but it does give you a chance to point out the correct pronunciation.”
Roll’s last piece of advice hardly comes as a surprise. “Take children to story hour at your neighborhood library,” she said. “And if you’re uncertain about which books to borrow, ask the librarian.”
By Ann L. Rappoport
Undergoing physical therapy for a foot problem, awaiting double shoulder replacement surgery, Mary Zeigler said, “It’s a blessing to grow old.”
The joy felt by this long-time nurse and widely acclaimed entrepreneur isn’t limited to watching her four children, nine grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren grow to maturity; it’s kindled from the core fire of life itself.
What about the many losses encountered as we age? “Loss is just part of living,” she philosophizes.
Now 71, Mary Gaines Zeigler lost her mother in a house fire when she was 5. She was raised by her three older sisters and her father, George, an ordained Baptist minister, who graduated from Howard University. He was an M.D. as well, and Zeigler recalls that he always wore a three-piece suit, complete with pocket watch.
Assorted ethnicities
With her parents and grandparents representing a proud assortment of ethnicities, she happily calls herself “part-Cherokee, Sioux, Bombay Indian, Jewish and Chinese,” as well as African-American.
After graduating from Girls High, she received a nursing degree from Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York City. She has served patients at Temple, Friends, Nazareth, Germantown and the old St. Joseph’s and JFK hospitals; at St. John Neumann Nursing Home; and at Holmesburg Prison’s infirmary.
She also used to play piano and sing, and when she lived in New York, she performed at Harlem’s legendary Apollo Theater. Her musical training began when she was 2 with her mother, a music teacher. When her mother died, her father saw to it she continued receiving lessons in musicians’ homes.
You may know Zeigler as “Grandma” through Zeigler’s Carousel Day Care. During its 35 years in Philadelphia (she closed the business in 2005), Zeigler estimates that she, her husband Clinton and her staff cared for 35,000 children. That includes summer camp, after-school programs and the martial arts program that she, a black belt, initiated for Carousel children.
Stricter than their parents
“Grandma” began her private day care business in 1972. For a few years before moving to Overbrook and then Mt. Airy, she operated out of the old Oak Lane Post Office. Families trusted this assertive, hands-on professional to provide quality supervision and developmental opportunities.
“I was stricter than the parents were,” Zeigler muses. “In all the time I interviewed parents, not one asked to see the crib mattresses,” she said, noting that parents shouldn’t assume that mattresses aren’t ripped or dirty.
Zeigler spoke about other standards, such as sanitary practices between nose wipings, and screening and training staff. She hired strong communicators and accomplished musicians. Staff development and training were vital to her; she cautioned her staff to be discreet and never engage in gossip.
Recipient of honors
During Carousel’s silver anniversary, Zeigler received congratulatory messages from President Clinton, Gov. Tom Ridge and other dignitaries. She was honored by the Pennsylvania state legislature, and received the Madame C.J. Walker Award from the Pennsylvania Chapter of the National Coalition of 100 Black Women.
A member of the American Academy of Pediatrics, she has served on a U.S. Congressional Advisory Board for improving early childhood education.
When she completes her physical therapy, Zeigler expects to resume serving on a citizen advisory board to Congress, dealing with seniors’ concerns, and to resume advocating for better adult day and nursing home care.
Meanwhile, on Sundays at the nursery in St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Chestnut Hill, children continue to enjoy the loving care and guidance of “Grandma” Zeigler.